I'm Torn By This Article

by B. Rene Williams

The Houston Chronicle article, The flaws of the self-esteem fad, sent me into a tail spin.

I am a big proponent of high self-esteem. I believe that self-esteem assures us that wealth and abundance are within our grasp.

We cannot acquire these things unless we believe that we can, and it is easy to talk ourselves out of trying.

Yet, I am altogether familiar with graduates of the '90s secondary educational system. I had family that graduated from high school in the mid-90's -- and yes, many of them do think that they know everything about everything.

I didn't consider, though, that educational programs might be feeding into their the-world-owes me-a-living attitude. I thought that their parents were responsible, and am certainly open-minded enough to consider now that my contempt was partially misplaced! So, I owe this article something for that new perspective.

Still, I am always suspicious of commentators longing for the good old days, where values were so much stronger and the world had so much more integrity.

The U.S. is just now starting to emerge from some really insidious social institutions (racism, sexism, etc). Not so long ago, we were wriggling in the mud of these social flaws (we're still not out of the bathtub!), and that's what we called "integrity."

High self-esteem is about believing that you are capable of fulfilling your promise no matter what the world tells you or how it tries to sabotage you along the way. We need that armor!

I believe that the article is mischaracterizing the concept of high self-esteem. People who believe that the world owes them a living are spoiled and delusional - this is not high self-esteem.

The commentator has it right that there are a bevy of spoiled 20-30 year olds roaming the heartland of America, thinking that they can guilt their families into funding their lifestyles while they dabble in this & that -- filing bankruptcy to get out of bills they haven't even tried to pay -- trying to falsely claim disability to get out of working a job.

But these are not the intended outcomes of self-help. You will never see that kind of teaching in the prominent personal development literature, regardless of the fallout of the high self-esteem educational programs.

Rather, high self-esteem starts from the perspective of a society that is harsh and cold, not one primed to give us hand-outs. High self-esteem is about teaching us to avoid self-sabotage that starts with the workings of a cold world, not a handbook to getting the world to coddle us.

Any of the resources in the Self-Improvement and Inspirational Self-Help sections of the Resources Center will clarify what it means to develop a high self-esteem, and why this pursuit is absolutely necessary for a healthy, wealthy life.

In Conversations With God, for example, we are instructed to always go to the highest perception of ourselves. That mindset shift can cause us to accomplish some amazing feats in life. I can testify to that personally! And I never took away from this or any other inspirational self-help teaching that the world owes me a living.